I went to my local ENT (Adult audiology next to the Nuffield since you ask) last week and what do you know? It is exactly the same – apart from the blancmange walls, the staff are as rude and surly as ever. They have a notice (we’ve all seen them) which says “Abuse, threats, violence will not be tolerated. We want to help you but we will not hesitate to protect our staff”. If that isn’t a threat, then I don’t know what is. Don’t they ever stop to think why customers / patients/ clients (in other words, us) might get angry and / or upset? How’s this for starters – when I went to collect my prescription from the same hospital, the chairs face away from the pharmacy so you can’t see if they are calling (or even waving frantically, which of course they never would). Are they messing with our heads or what?

I have heard this twice recently – where organisations have an underspend and so they decide to use up the money by having a jamboree at a posh hotel for the staff (usually hearing)  & volunteers (usually deaf) .  Is this really the best way to use up the left over money? Why not just write a cheque to all the deaf volunteers instead? Without them, there wouldn’t even be a project!

If anyone mentions the words “equal opportunities” to me once more, I swear I’ll scream! (and loudly too). For a start equal opps is sooooo out of date and anyone who uses this phrase should be immediately suspect. We should be asking ourselves  “How can we create a level playing field?”. How can we make it fairer for deaf people to catch up? My experience has been that equal opps is used to favour hearing people. Why? you ask. Ok, here are several true interview stories (hold your breath as you’ll want to scream too) :

1. An interviewer refused to hand over a typed list of questions to the deaf candidate “as it wouldn’t be fair to the hearing candidates” (the interviewer was totally unlipreadable).

2. In a separate interview, an interviewer refused to allow one of the panel to ask a supplementary question to the deaf person (who was vastly experienced but wasn’t sure of the question) as this would “load the dice against everyone else”.

3. A headteacher refused to allow a deaf teacher to walk next to him  so she could see what was being said, on a school pre-interview tour. “It’s not fair to the other (hearing) candidates”.

There are many many more stories and you really have to be in the room when these misguided equal opps minded individuals say these things. Interpreters could also tell you some horror stories too about what they’ve seen.

“Oh Equal Opps,  what crimes are committed in thy name”.

Had a great Christmas – sent lots of e-cards (sorry if I offended anyone), bought loads of books on the internet (highly recommended) as pressies (I asked everyone for a book list), and we went out for a meal on Christmas Day (so no cooking) and did not put up any Christmas decorations apart from a few classy baubles in a huge glass container.

Now what has all this to do with deafness? Well I think some lessons can be learned here. Like they say in Dad’s Army, “Don’t panic!!”. If you (hearing)  are introduced to someone who is deaf (perhaps a friend of a friend or colleague), smile and say hello. It’s not that hard, is it? Even better, find out beforehand what you can do to communicate more clearly (that’s harder). Remember deaf people have always been deaf (or if not, then probably have been for a very long time) and are usually quite chilled about it.  We know how to be deaf so what are you worried about? Take your lead from us. See what we do (usually we are smiling at you and looking at you) and then copy. Whatever you do, don’t flap and make things worse for yourself. (we’re not bothered, we’ll just go and find someone else to play with). Talk about what’s immediately happening (weather, shopping, staff meeting, whatever) and you’ll be rewarded with an intelligent reply. Go on, have a go!